This summer has been such a graceful summer but I have a testimony/message that God is urging me to share with you all:
Earlier last month I received a job offer in doing something I love and God made it all happen !! The job offer was to be working as a 2nd grade ELA teacher in August and I am too excited !! Sooo …. Why am I so excited ?? Well not only am I going to be teaching the content area I am more confident with but I will also be working with lower elementary !! All these things I prayed for before my job hunt and God gave it to me specifically in a district that I had a desire to work in as well !!! But before I got to this praise report there was a PROCESS that took place before this.
Now before this praise report, school was in session, and I was working as a 4th grade self-contained ESL teacher. Although, this was a great experience, it was a very stressful and tense experience as well. Now don’t get me wrong because I love the blessing of being a teacher ,and having the opportunity to make a huge impact on some of God’s most precious gifts of this world. BUT because I was so hard on myself it was one of my biggest downfalls. I was so excited and hyped because I knew this is where God wanted me to be at that time, but at that same time I was battling and not understanding why.
For one, my administration team gave me the option to resign and a couple other options as well literally after A MONTH of working as a teacher. I truly had to get some time to think and pray for God’s guidance on this because I was an emotional wreck !! Also, the same way the administration gave me some options, God gave me only one option !! Well guess what God’s option was for me …. To resign !!!! I talked all my options through with God and was in shock of his response but that’s when he had to remind me of Proverbs:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)”
Then, I went back and told my administration my final decision and choosing to trust God and submit to his instructions. After, telling my decision is when I found out that on the other side of that early resignation notice was them helping me and preparing me to become a great teacher until the end of the school year !! Like I was in total shock because we may not understand what God is doing behind the scenes sometimes of what our natural eyes can’t see but that’s where our faith and trust in him comes in !! I was also grateful because I was going through an alternative program that did not prepare me at ALL for teaching, and I graduated with a health science degree( talk about change). I had to accept and realize that God had set up the perfect teacher training/boot camp just for me that I never was able to receive !!! For it says in Psalms:
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. (Psalm 32:8)” God wanted to properly equip me for teaching by giving me this real internship experience with guidance, advice ,and being able to observe experienced people in my field !!! I was too thrilled because I never was able to get this experience before or in my alternative program!! God truly turned what was intended for evil for my good (Genesis 50:20)!!! Now, you would think I would take that and run with it but then the real battles began !!
First off, I had a small class that started with only twelve students(which was a blessing to me), but then administration would switch kids in and out of my class, sometimes every two to three weeks. Do you think this helped my confidence at all as a teacher ?? … NO !! I’m over here having a battle almost every day in my mind. I would have random thoughts come into my mind like: “Do I suck that bad that they have to take kids from me ??”…. “Do they think that I can’t handle it ??”…”God why am I here I feel like a horrible teacher ??”… “These kids don’t care about learning, I’m not changing lives like I expected”. Then it didn’t help either to have other teachers telling me: “You should have never resigned” … “Why did you let them talk you into that”. Then I had to tell myself “PAUSE” and remind myself that my confidence does not come from the administration team or people, it comes from GOD !!! For it says in Proverbs:
“For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught. (Proverbs 3:26)”
I had to remind myself that I am one of God’s children with a divine purpose,but also had to remember that my purpose comes with a PROCESS!! That’s when the true answer of my own question: “Why am I here ?” kicked in. My answer to myself: “It’s all apart of the process God has in store for me in order to prepare me to fulfill my purpose in life”.
I share all this hoping you can relate and see that sometimes we can get so caught up in the future things and bigger things without realizing that it’s a process that GOD has lined up for us to help strengthen us for our future purpose in life !! God’s process is like this long hallway with all these different doors to only get to more doors !! You can’t get to door # 5 without recognizing and walking through door # 2. We must learn to appreciate the process because each door molds you for the next door ahead. Also, until you recognize and go through that door, the next one will not open !! We live in a culture that trains us into thinking so far ahead, but God wants us to focus on the door he has placed us in now to prepare you for the next!!!
So do you truly feel like you are doing your part:
Are you making wise decisions ??
Are you going to God for his guidance in whatever your facing ??
Are you being obedient in what he is telling you to do in that current door you’re in ??
Are you going to God with prayer on everything before you make any decisions ??
Are you feeding your spirit man more than your fleshly man ??
All in all, trust HIS process and remember to do your part as well while you are waiting on the next door to open !! We serve a God that loves us and has our best interest in heart with everything we may face !! BUT it’s up to US to make the choice to face whatever it is in front of us and remember that he is on our side if we choose to let him in !! So have you truly let HIM in that door of whatever you are facing ?? Well if not now is the time to start and watch where HE takes you from there!!
With Love,
Crissy Roe
If you need any prayer or would want to send in any prayer requests. Please email me at spiritledwanderer@gmail.com.
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